Give Yourself A Two Month Real Life Test!
I wanted to write some of my own thoughts, about the amount of time, energy, finances, and planning it takes to dress (everyday). I recently had a run of consults every day, along with several family obligations, and a 10 week old puppy. I found myself, getting overwhelmed when I had not planned ahead on what I was wearing each day while seeing 4 different clients for 2 days per client, having my hair trimmed, colored, and conditioned, doing my nails, and not having the best color of hose to wear, with a white outfit that got blue ink on it, and going to the dermatologist to get a sun spot taken off my arm, not having a purse to match my shoes, needing to iron my causal day time jeans and blouses, and running to the shoe repair to get my leather purses cleaned, and tips put on my heels, and to pick up several items at the drug store, needed for makeup and skin issues (which is never under $100.00 for one drug store run). Not to mention, going to the gym, going shopping for clothing items, preparing meals, taking vitamins, and working with my stretching coach... who never lets me off for one visit. And, this is a daily, weekly way of life for any woman who wants to look feminine and put together. Having casual outfits, and work outfits, also presents double work and finances.
As I was rushing about, getting really nervous with the amount of time it takes to really get my look right, I had to stop and think about how this must be for my TG client who doesn’t dress everyday or who does not have time, to plan ahead. Looking feminine, and pulled together, is a full time job. Every week, I have to think ahead. What will I wear for on different days for different situations, what day do I wash my hair, what items do I take to the cleaners, what items do I hand wash, what items do I iron, when to go to the nail salon, go to the dentist, go to the dermatologist, go and get tons of little items for the drug store, time to go to the shoe repair for heels that have had the leather torn, time to polish my silver jewelry, time to tan my body, time to prepare meals that are healthy and low fat, time to go to the gym time to work with my personal coach, on and on. Like anything, it takes planning. Now, I have not mentioned, time to be with the people in my life or time for anything relaxing. In the nut shell, it takes a ton of time, energy, planning, shopping, and thinking ahead… to be a woman.
Since I started teaching self improvement and modeling, professionally at 19 years old, I was forced very early, to learn the importance of working ahead from the older models who were my mentors. Now, I see many serious TG’s who find a lot of satisfaction in dressing on the weekends… spending hours putting on their makeup, and selecting what pair of 4 inch heels to wear. Okay, I get all that, and I have also do that, for special events. But, for you ladies who plan to do this every day, I suggest you give yourself a one or two month real life test. Oh, not the kind of real life test many of my clients do with their therapists, but your own real life test – where you dress every day, even if it is to go outside and get your mail. It is important to see, if you have the organizational skills, needed to really pull this off, on a daily basis. It is very different when one “Gets To Dress” instead of when “One Has To Dress”. I say this from the bottom of my heart, and you must believe me when I say…you must be 100% prepared. It is no different than someone saying, they are going to lose weight and go the gym every day. Or, any goal. But, this is your real life. If you find, it is too difficult to do this every day, or if you find you do not have a clue what a jewel neckline is or a gore pleat, then it is important to slow down and learn to get it right. Many CD’s are coming from a male brain, of “I can accomplish this goal”. However, living full time is not a goal. It is a day to day process that is always changing. With each stage of life, another process, another way of looking, another adjustment.
Men do not have to change their look. They sort of fall into whatever nature brings. A woman has to constantly upgrade her look. This takes time, money, planning, and you have to know what you’re doing. Of course, there are many women out there, that don’t try. All one must do, is sit on a bench in any city in any mall. But, to look like the fantasy you see in your mind, takes a lot of work. I say this, not to be mean. But, so you go into this with all eyes open and not on a compulsive thought. Also, women always think of how they are affecting their family and their children. Women, multi task.
I have been listening to some new material from Dr. John Gray on the difference between men and women’s brains. It made me realize, how much my TS clients, need to learn…as their hard wiring, does not allow them to think or do things, in the way a GG does naturally. If you feel, this is true for you, not to get upset. Just slow down. Do research into wardrobe. Find mentors. Get educated. This is not a game, this is your life. And, living in a woman’s world, may look like fun, but it is far from all fun – without putting in the hours needed… for the “fun” feedback.
So, as I sit here, with a puppy eating the leather off my new heels, with a French Tip that just broke (great I have to go back to the nail salon), with hot rollers in my hair, and getting prepared for a very busy weekend – of planning at least 3-4 wardrobe changes… I wonder what it would feel like, to not have to think about what you’re wearing.
I would love to hear from any full time girls, who have learned… the shift!
Be good and stay out of the sun!
Denae
Denae Doyle ~ Femininity Coach ~ Private Consultations available in the Bay Area. Email Denae Here!
Check out Denae's "Feminine Movement" Instructional DVD / VHS for the TG Woman Here!
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