Columnist Vanessa Law Writes On How Dressing Affects Your Femme Personae!
I believe that God made each and every person a beautiful, wonderful human being. As crossdressers we have the opportunity to express both the masculine and feminine sides of ourselves and surprisingly, the difference in personality is about more than just makeup, clothes and a feminine outlook on life.
I recently conducted a poll on Crossdresser Heaven to better understand what-is-your-crossdressing-personality transgender personality. I wanted to know whether people felt they were basically the same person when they dressed in woman's clothes, or whether there was a more fundamental change.
I've always felt more confident, free and personable when I'm Vanessa. I'm no longer trying to please everyone, to make them comfortable with my actions and appearance. It's as if there are no boundaries I need to tip toe around. I've thought at times that this may be because I've already broken through what some people would consider a sacred boundary. Perhaps after I've done this there isn't much I feel I can do to fit in afterwards.
It turns out I'm not alone in this personality shift. 42% of crossdressers said they were more outgoing when dressed, with 27% saying they really got a healthy dose of extra confidence by being dressed. 48% were more reserved, with 25% saying they felt very nervous when dressed.
Going in to it I had suspected that more people would feel nervous and shy when dressed, and was surprised at the nearly equal split. Some felt more confident and energized, and others were more nervous and shy. Only 10% said they're pretty much the same person when dressed.
This got me thinking - if our personality can dramatically change when we crossdress perhaps we're leaving half our life song unsung when we deny ourselves. That it's more than just a fetish involving clothes of the opposite gender, but a genuine part of who we are that is screaming to be set free. To bring our lives into balance as I've heard from so many wonderful ladies.
There is also a wonderful opportunity to remake who we are. Our male selves carry around decades of judgment and failure. A large collection of life experiences that has shaped us, most of which happened during our early childhood years. Back then our personalities were crafted without the filter of knowledge or intention. The feminine inside us is still young, but now we can apply our mind and will to become who we aspire to. This is truly a gift that very few are blessed to receive.
Personally I find that crossdressing unlocks a beautiful person within me who has lain in slumber for far too long and I long to experience more of the world as her. Who are you when you crossdress?
Wishing you blessings and happiness throughout the New Year!
Vanessa
Vanessa is a transgendered girl who lives in Seattle. She is happily married, approaching 30 and enjoys sharing her thoughts on crossdressing and Christianity. Her regularly updated website, Crossdresser Heaven contains tips and tricks on looking your most feminine, and updates from the transgender community.
Mail to a friendCOMMENTS
- On June 13 At 14:48 -missy12- said
keep it up .love to hear more from you
- On March 07 At 15:51 -kellgrl66- said
ty Vanessa for saying what so many of us feel dear. At first I was shy and scared but after a year I became confident in who I was and loved it
- On June 26 At 15:39 -judy215- said
each one of us has their own look,some look great{if young ,if one takes the time to bring her best out} other like me are older and need a bit{lot more} .some put on a dress and lipstict and think their megen fox the idea is think good,practise and enjoy
- On May 17 At 15:16 -LCxing- said
When I dress I am energized and nervous and sometimes scared even though I'm inside my closet. I still like the story because it makes me think out and in.
- On April 01 At 23:28 -Denise91- said
Vanessa, I am so much happier as Denise than "that guy!" I don't want to cross dress, I am going to be Denise.
- On February 23 At 10:59 -kellgrl66- said
Great article Vanessa and totally agree with you that my change of personality is even more exciting than the clothes I wear when going out en femme
- On January 08 At 08:12 -sedover- said
Vanessa I answered your poll, voting the "same", let me explain. When I was much younger I'm sure there would have been a shift but being in my 50's now I have "centered" myself. My center is internal. I refuse to be caught up in the "binary" and fraud of definitions. Though appearing "dressed" at work might be awkward (for them) I instead view my socially acceptable work attire as a uniform. Fortunately, I am in a "gender" neutral job where what I wear can float except to either of the extremes.
Stephanie